By Michael Schiavinato

10/15/09

Dracula on Halloween Night Ver1

Igor and Dracula are having a conversation in his castle on Halloween night

Igor

Master you look glorious today

Dracula

Oh be quiet Igor you know how much I dislike Halloween. Nobody ever takes me serious

Igor

Oh master its only one day a year, and It makes me feel so romantic (starts spinning and dancing)

Dracula

That’s enough Igor, quickly stop before somebody see’s you

Igor

Oh alright

Castle door bell rings Ding Dong!

Dracula

The children are arriving! Oh the Horror… Igor quickly what should we do?

Igor

Relax master it’s Halloween, Let me just open the door and see who it is

Igor opens door and Pizza man enters

Dracula

Pizza? Who ordered pizza?

Pizza man

Ok so who ordered the extra meat pizza with Garlic crust?

Igor

Ah that would be me! (Igor takes pizza and hands over money) here you go, keep the change

Dracula

Garlic crust! Igor you always do that! You know I’m sensitive to garlic crust!

Igor

(smiles then frowns) Oh master I’m terribly sorry, I’ll remember next time

Dracula

Igor you always say that!

Trick or treat!

Oh no! they are here! I must run to my coffin! Igor don’t answer that door!

Igor

Master please… a little socializing will be good for us

Dracula

Yes… Yes I must relax… breath. Halloween is only once a year… I can do this. Ok Igor open the door

Igor

Yes Master (Igor opens the front door and children enter the house)

Children

Trick or treat

Igor

Oh my what lovely costumes we have… Oh wait let me guess… We have a Surfer, a Nurse, and a… Priest!

Dracula is in sheer horror at the sight of the children, especially the crucifix of the priest. Igor realizes the presence of the crucifix and covers it with a scarf

Oh my it must be freezing outside. Here let me put this scarf on you…

Children

Trick or treat! Where’s the candy?

Igor

Oh right the candy! Yes here you go… I prepared some chocolate dipped spiders for everyone

Children

Chocolate dipped spiders! Gross

Dracula

We spent all night making these treats for you, and this is how you respond

Child Surfer

Oh gross, you need to get more sun

Dracula

Why yes of course I do

Child Nurse

Are you supposed to be a Vampire?

Igor

Oh yes he is a Vampire, why he’s the most terrifying Vampire in all the land!

Child Surfer

You look like a retarded vampire

Child Priest

Yeah… I’ve seen better costumes at Walmart

Dracula

I hate you

Igor

And what are you supposed to be dear… a nurse?

Child Nurse

No stupid I’m a Phlebotomist

Igor

A Phlebotomist !?!

Dracula

Igor I like this one

Child Nurse

Looks over to Igor

And what are you supposed to be… a bum?

Igor

Alright you brats take your candy and get on out of here (Igor shoves the children out of the house)

Dracula

This is exactly why I hate Halloween! Everybody is so critical and nobody takes me serious. Did you see that surfer mocking me with her tan! Never again Igor! Never again

Igor

I’m so sorry master, I thought that maybe by meeting people we would open up more, you know get to know the neighbors a bit

Dracula

Igor we are daemons and servants of the night, when will you understand this

Igor

So should I cancel the upcoming Christmas party?

Dracula

Igor!