Michael Schiavinato ver2

9/2009

Government Job Interview

Gov Emp1

Hello Mrs. Johnson please take a seat.

Mrs Johnson

Oh why thank you, I’m a bit nervous. I’ve never undergone a lie detector for a job interview.

Gov Emp1

Oh you shouldn’t worry a polygraph test is very normal for the position you are applying for. You can be assured you are with professionals.

Gov Employees strap on polygraph equipment onto Mrs. Johnson

Gov Emp2

Yes it’s pretty routine. Just sit back, relax, answer honestly and everything should go smooth.

Mrs Johnson

Ok I’m ready

Gov Emp1

What is todays date?

Mrs. Johnson

September 16^th

Gov Emp1

What State are you in?

Mrs. Johnson

Virginia

Gov Emp1

Are you married?

Mrs. Johnson

Yes

Govnt employees look back at each other and signal ‘Darn it’

Gov Emp1

Are your parents still married?

Mrs. Johnson

No

Government works give each other a thumbs up out of Mrs. Johnsons site

Gov Emp1

Is your mother attractive?

Mrs. Johnson

I’m not sure I see how this question is relevant?

Gov Emp1

Please Mrs. Johnson just answers the questions.

Mrs. Johnson

Well I guess so?

Gov Emp1

Yes or no answers only please

Mrs. Johnson

Yes

Gov Emp2

Would you consider your Mother a MILF?

Mrs. Johnson

What…

Gov Emp1

Ahh ok moving forward…

Gov Emp1

Do you like Fish Dicks?

Mrs. Johnson

Yes, I like Fish Sticks?

Govnt Employees look back and laugh with each other

Mrs. Johnson

I’m not sure I am at the right place here…

Gov Emp2

Alkida! Jihad! Alkida!

Gov Emp1

Mrs. Johnson please! We are professionals! All of this is necessary for the security of our nation!

Gov Emp1

Now can we continue with the interview?

Mrs. Johnson

Ok then… for our country.

Gov Emp1

Thank you… moving forward… Does your mother require a lot of alcohol to get drunk?

Mrs. Johnson

That’s it! I’m not sure this job is for me. Get this stuff off me… I’m out of here.

Gov Emp2

Hold up Mrs. Johnson you passed.

Mrs. Johnson

Oh really? Wow thank you? So I got the job?

Gov Emp1

Almost… just one more thing… Does your mother like wine?

Mrs. Johnson

Oh Boy…

Mrs. Johnson drops her face into her hands

End Scene.