By Michael Schiavinato

Blast Off

9/2009 V2

NASA rocket blasting off to the Moon

NASA:

5…4...3...2...1… And we have blast off of the Apollo 20 mission. Next stop the Moon. See you both in 12 days.

Astronaut 1 (Mark):

Wow I can’t believe after all these years of training we are finally going to the moon. It’s too bad Tony got sick. I guess you’re his replacement.

Astronaut 2 (Rob):

Yeah I just found out this morning. This is going to be a great 2 week trip. I’m really excited.

Mark:

Definitely.

Rob:

Hey I was at your Blast off party last night. Nice party.

Mark:

Oh Thank you, I had a lovely time, now let’s get to business.

Rob:

Boy it’s a bit cramped in here… Mark can you give me a bit more room… Thanks. Jeez’ I’m still feeling a bit hung over from the party last night.

Mark:

Just sit back and relax Rob you will be fine.

Rob: Yeah that was one heck of a party Mark, I think at one point I found your secret Scotch stash. I owe you a couple of bottles. You sure have good taste.

Mark:

Oh that’s fine, that’s why I bought them. How is the navigation computer looking?

Rob:

Mark you really are a nice guy. NASA said that you’re a real stand up fellow. I feel like I can share anything with you, like we’re brothers.

Mark:

Well we are going to be very close these next few weeks… Rob is that my pillow you have?

Rob:

Oh yeah I need two pillows to sleep and I thought you wouldn’t mind.

Mark:

Sure… I guess. Hey! Is that my tooth brush!

Rob:

Huh? What? Oh yeah, I dropped mine on the way up to the Rocket. I figured we would share.

Mark:

I don’t normally share my tooth brush with other men… but I guess for the sake of the mission.

NASA:

Mark this is mission command… we got some bad news… They towed your car… I guess you parked in the handicapped parking.

Mark:

What? You told me that was my parking spot.

NASA:

Sorry Mark, it’s a joke we play on the guys...Neil Armstrong laughed at that joke. He was also at the party last night.

Mark:

OMG why didn’t you tell me!?! Ok let’s just keep our focus on the Mission. Rob how’s the fuel?

Rob:

(eating food) Yum yum yum…

Mark:

Hey is that my food you’re eating!

Rob:

Don’t you mean OUR food. We were told to eat and stay healthy. Here you want some…

Mark:

No thank you… NASA I am beginning separation of third stage booster rockets now.

BANG BOOM

Rob:

What was that! What did you do!

Mark: I did exactly what I was supposed to do! I engaged booster separation!

Rob:

NASA we got a problem up here.

NASA:

Thank you Rob we see it on our screens. Guy’s it doesn’t look good from down here.

Rob:

Thanks a lot Mark. How did I ever get stuck up here with this guy.

NASA: Mission control to Mark. This looks like it may be the end. A few of us feel real guilty down here and want to share some things with you… When I left the blast off party last night I ran over your dog.

Mark:

You ran over my dog! Why are you telling me this now!

NASA:

Because I’m not a liar Mark!

Mark: OK, OK Gosh I loved that dog.

NASA:

And a few of the guys slept with your wife…

Mark:

You what! You slept with my wife!

NASA: Yeah …I just wanted to tell you that we’re all really sorry about that.

Mark:

(Speaks to himself out loud) Ok, Ok, breathe, let’s all calm down. We are in a critical situation here. Let’s stay focused on the mission…

Rob:

Yeah Mark I’m sorry… I slept with your wife too.

Mark: You too! Oh My God!

Rob:

Yeah I didn’t know she was off limits.

Mark:

Good Lord!!! I can’t take it anymore. I have to turn this thing around!

Rob:

Rob to NASA… We got a crazy one up here… requesting instructions?

NASA:

Yeah we kind of saw this coming… Some people are just not cut out for this job. Go ahead and sedate him.

Rob:

I’m sorry Mark, an order is an order.

Mark:

Get away from me! You are all crazy! Don’t touch Me! (Mark bangs fist on console)

NASA:

Mission control to Apollo 20… Hold up Rob… Whatever you guys did just fixed the problem. Everything is fine. Continue with the mission.

Rob:

Sounds good, Thank you NASA.

NASA:

Thank you Rob. Some of the boys here just remembered that Mark had planned to have a welcome home Landing party when you guys got back… Let’s all leave him alone, we had so much fun at the last party we wouldn’t want to ruin the atmosphere at the next one.

Rob:

Ok NASA… Thank you… Over and out. Boy that was close…Mark you need to learn to relax, we have a serious mission ahead of us.